Q: I have the book; why do I need a Rules Coach?
A: A Certified Rules Coach must complete a 12-week course and pass three tests. A Rules Coach is personally mentored by the authors to provide more extensive “Rules” knowledge than that found in the book. The special training that I received allows me to help you:

Q: Will you give me an example of a Rule you can help me with?
A: Of course… how about Fantasy Relationships from The Rules II.  Let’s play a game. I’ll give you three different scenarios and you tell me which has “Rules” potential.

Example 1:
When you go to the ice cream stand, the cute guy at the counter says “You look hot; how about a nice cold bottle of water”?

Example 2:
A guy with whom you conduct business (banker, accountant, lawyer, doctor etc.) initiates a business call that turns into casual conversation; he then asks you if he can call you from his personal phone. He calls you within the next couple of days and asks you out in advance.

Example 3:
Every time you see your dentist, he’s always staring at you, smiling and giving you compliments and extra toothbrushes. He says: ”Let me know when you’re available” but never asks you out. Occasionally, he’ll call you to see if you received your new retainer or if your filling is still in place.

Ok, ladies… tell me which of these is The Rules Relationship and the most likely explanations for the other two scenarios.

Now, let’s check our answers.

Example 1:
This guy is simply doing his job, up-selling. Yeah, he may be flirting a little, but if he were really interested, he would ask for your name and your digits.

Example 2:
This is the only scenario with Rules potential. Why? He called you, initiated a non-business conversation and asked you out…in advance.

Example 3:
Tricky? Yeah….he’s attracted to you and he may even be interested in you but not enough to pursue you. This is not the type of guy to date if you want a Rules Relationship and marriage. Many professional men like the one in this scenario may come across as interested and shy. Here are likely reasons he’s not asking you out:

• He just likes to flirt with attractive clients; it boosts his ego.
• He wants a one-night stand or casual sex.
• He’s a workaholic and doesn’t want to make a commitment to anything other than work; you just happen to be in the right place at the right time. If you pursue him, he’ll be flattered; if not; he’ll just go back to concentrating on work and other women; no big deal for him.
• He’s lazy… he just hits on patients/clients because they are easily available. This is not the guy who takes the lead… and not the type of husband a Rules Girl wants.
• He likes you, but he is afraid of crossing professional boundaries; this simply means that he does not like you enough to be in a committed relationship.
• He’s really married or seeing someone else; he just wants to fill in the gaps of an unsatisfying relationship.
• He has a lot of insecurities, and he’s intimidated by you…yes, that’s right. But, until he gets the help he needs to overcome his issues, he will not be ready for a relationship.
• If you want a casual date or fling, go ahead and ask him out, but don’t expect a commitment from him (so date others if you decide to go with this option). And, if he does date you or marry you, you’ll have to initiate everything in the relationship, and you’ll always worry that he’ll leave you for the next client/patient he is attracted to.
  

Q: Are you a Rules Girl too or just a Rules Coach?
A: I consider myself to be a Plan B Rules Girl, meaning I tend to follow the Rules on a less-strict level. When I feel a man could be a potential husband or I am looking for a long-term committed relationship, I always use the Rules on some level. At times, I may also casually date if I am not looking for a long-term relationship or don’t feel a special connection with a particular man.
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Q: What Rules have you broken?
A: I’ve broken several Rules before….and have successfully fixed MOST of them. If you hire me as your Rules Coach, I will be more than happy to share my personal Rules Success Stories if I feel that they will help you fix your broken Rules and prevent you from making big Rules mistakes.
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